Frozen Transparency

Who am I, the author of this blog? I am Keith Bertelsen. Also:

• I am a United States citizen. I’ve lived here my entire life, although I have spent some time abroad. When I talk about most things, I mean them from a United States context unless stated otherwise. This is not meant to be hegemonistic or otherwise biased; it is mostly for simplicity on my part. The context is known, and stated upfront.
• I am an adult. I am old enough to legally drink. I have voted in national elections several times, and several of my friends have gotten married and/or have begun having children. While I do not consider myself tremendously old, I do think I have mostly sloughed off the taint of youth.
• I am male. I do not think that one’s psychological affect is necessarily determined by one’s physical sex. On the other hand, I recognize that the sexes have physiological differences that necessitate different psychological responses.
• I am “girly”. I do not fully associate with the male stereotype in modern society. While there are some things I do that many would consider “male”, there are some things I do (and some opinions I have) that are generally considered “female” by modern society.
• I am heterosexual. I am attracted to women. I can see attractiveness in men, it just doesn’t really matter much to me. My preference is for the female form, although not necessarily the full-on female stereotype.
• I am of Scandinavian descent. The idea that one’s heritage is truly indicative of how one thinks is absolutely ludicrous. On the other hand, heritage can also change how one is treated by members of society, and can potentially be indicative of trends in thought patterns co-incident with heritage.
• I am a Christian. I believe Jesus was a real person, and a pretty wise guy at that. I think a lot of the things he said are really worth listening to. I also think he was killed and came back from the dead a few days later. I don’t usually like talking in depth about my core religious beliefs.
• I am a scientist. I believe in the scientific method, and tend to apply scientific precepts to my life. I also am inclined to trust in scientists and believe what they say, not necessarily what the media says they say.
• I am a skeptic. Despite my inclination to trust some authorities, I still try to weigh everything and consider it critically. I do not typically believe things just because some smart people said it was true, but I prefer to weigh the arguments and come to a decision myself.
• I am a republican and a libertarian. I tend to prefer representative governments and republics as opposed to pure democracy. I also tend to prefer that the government stay as small as possible. This does not mean I have any particular loyalty to political parties.
• I am a computer scientist. I know how to use computers, and I know how to program computers, and doing things with computers is something I both like to do and have a job in. It certainly has some impact in how I think about things, since I tend to approach problems from an Information Theory point of view.
• I am a mathematician. I believe there is a fundamental order to the universe, and while mathematics are to an extent a human invention, I do think they are indicative of something deeper. I enjoy many sub-fields in mathematics, from number theory to logic. I like doing basic number experiments in my head, such as figuring out prime factors to numbers I randomly see in life, or finding mathematical patterns in places where they do not intentionally exist.
• I am a philosopher. I got a minor in it, so I suppose it’s technically true. I tend to avoid the real academic work in philosophy; this is a reflex learned from getting a degree in it. That does not mean, however, that I don’t enjoy certain aspects of the field, and that I don’t sometimes ask myself interesting questions.
• I am a polyglot. I like languages and sometimes wish I had gotten a linguistics degree as well. Obviously, I speak English fluently, but I also have some skill in Japanese and have studied French, Latin, and Spanish. I enjoy thinking about how languages work, and have also tried my hand at making some.
• I am a geek. Some people call it a nerd. What this means is that my interests are somewhat significantly distant from the mainstream opinion of what is considered a “normal” interest. I’m somewhat proud of my geekiness—or nerdiness—but that hardly means anything. Really, it’s more than I’m aware my interests are considered “weird”, and I’m aware of that, and willing to say what my interests are despite social stigma.
• I am a gamer. This term historically has meant three different things, and I intend on meaning all of them. I enjoy playing card and board games with other people; I enjoy playing tabletop roleplaying games with other people; and I enjoy playing video games.
• I am a writer. I write, I enjoy writing, and the things I write are part of who I am. I tend to stick with fiction, but I have been known to dabble in both non-fiction and poetry from time to time. All of them are important to me, although my writing habit is to an extent a private craft.
• I am a reader. I enjoy reading, even if I don’t read books as much as I wish I did. I still spend a lot of time reading websites, and generally expanding my knowledge. I do sometimes read the encyclopedia for fun.
• I am curious. I enjoy learning. I think learning is important, and try to continue doing it. While there are things I don’t particularly want to learn about, most subjects I consider fair game.
• I am fastidious. Perhaps this comes from my being so embedded in computer science, mathematics, and philosophy; in all of these, fastidiousness is an asset. Or perhaps I find myself drawn to these fields because I am a fastidious person. Either way, I sometimes get very nitpicky, other times am willing to just handwave things.
• I am changing. As all humans, I am taking in new experiences, and my beliefs change over time. My physical body is changing. All things change, and I am no exception.

In the end, though, I hope that you do not judge me on any of these things, nor that you think that this list is exhaustive. And, as one of my characters has said:

The things that we do, the people we meet, our experiences—they make us up. But we cannot allow them to define us. We are more than the sum of our parts, more than the things that happen to us. To be anything less is to cheat ourselves.

This is somewhat indicative of the philosophy I try to follow; perhaps the words will have some meaning to you, as well.